so irritating

there is one classmate of mine who really gets on my nerves. she's smart, but so annoying and irritating. she's the only person who has got on my nerves to the point of making me turn off my mobile phone just to avoid receiving her calls. it takes a lot, and i mean a whole LOT, to get on my nerves.
i thought that by getting married and moving to another continent i'll get some peace from the constant calls i used to get when we were rushing for time to complete assignments.
anyway, what makes me super irritated and annoyed with her right now is the exams. i do feel a little sorry for her now as she doesn't have any support for the course since she's moved away from SG. i do try to help out whenever i am able to. we are taking the same exam paper which was just over last Monday. since the time difference is to her advantage, she wanted me to inform her what are the questions that appeared in the paper.
isn't that unfair? everyone else didn't know what the questions will be and she was just waiting for me to inform her the questions - the exact questions. i told her it wouldn't be fair if i tell her the exact questions, but i can tell her to concentrate on which questions from the sample exam paper.
well, miss annoying here accused me of deceiving her. i got very pissed by that comment. i told her straight i did promise to help, but by giving out the questions i won't be doing justice to myself as well the others who took the exam without knowing the questions in the paper. i can help by giving a guide of what questions and topics she needs to remember to clear the paper.
there's a limit of how much you can help others. if it's within my means, i will definitely help others. i offer my services with no strings attached. i don't expect get any returns but if it involves a question of ethics and conscience, i have my reservations.
so i've got another paper to take next week. i'm requesting to get another credit thus another exemption for one module. if that is successful, then I'M DONE. FINISHED. COMPLETED.
let's hope and pray for the best.

just a few more days

just
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hanging
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on
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energy
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drained
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completely
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where is the time?

is there any way anybody can survive without sleep? i have so much to do and not much time left to do everything.
i've been trying all sort of ways to keep awake trying to study. i can't afford to flunk anymore. i've invested too much time and i'm getting very tired of doing it now. i have to finish up the course. i need to do something else before i go insane.
if i were to go for a total health check-up, i'm sure i'll fail. the stress hormones must be having a party in my body. i've been craving for all the comfort food. i actually asked for something i've not eaten in a long time yesterday. something i've not seen in the freezer at home for ages. haha...
ok, i'd better go before my head get more screwed up from the lack of sleep.

switched off

i don't know why but i seem to be on an 'off' mode for the past few weeks.
i was so looking forward for something only to have written the event on a wrong date on my PDA. then yesterday, i was looking at a date for a scheduled meeting and got the date mixed up again.
i feel very detached too lately. like i'm living in my own world and i'm looking at everyone else through an invisible glass.
on another note, the programme manager seems to be in a very good mood. since he came back from an overseas working trip last week. first, he gave me a wink, an actual wink (where you blink an eye at a person) when i was giving him an update of some things about work. then just now, he bought 2 booklets of a carnival ticket and gave them to me telling me to enjoy myself.
only one thing i can say is, that man is really unpredictable. just last year when i was asking for a loooong leave he almost gave a lecture.
anyway, tomorrow's a public holiday. greetings to those who celebrate Vesak Day and enjoy the off day to the rest.
ps : PC show starts tomorrow (31/05/07) till sunday (03/06/07).

getting older

i don't know if it's just me, or it's just the way life is turning into when you get older, or it's just the way people still thinks.
a few months ago, an aunt sms-ed and asked if i would be interested if she introduces me to a guy. that's not the issue. the issue is, he's a widower with 2 children. i don't have time to take proper care of myself, let alone another person, and she's suggesting an additional baggage??!!
then, yesterday, a cousin called. she was asking if i'd be interested in this guy she knows. one of the information she gave, he's a divorcee.
while i have absolutely nothing against those who's ever been married. you have your reasons, i'd rather stay away. far, far, away. i may be single but NOT desperate ok. there's still plenty of single guys around. i personally know of a few.
anyway, i'm still quite happy the way i am right now. with my current situation, i don't have the time to maintain any relationships other than the ones i have right now. (read : the family friends/colleagues).
i really don't have the time and energy to start getting to know a new person. actually, this is the reason why i don't date. i have a strict no dating policy because i hate the ritual. you feel so awkward and insecure. talk too much you sound like you are bragging. talk too little and you sound like you're not interested.
another thing is i don't like going out cos i'm only free on the weekends and that's when everyone else is free too so it's so crowded everywhere. then the phone conversations. something i avoid and make it really quick if unavoidable.
anyway, this is just me. disagree if you think it's nonsense, but i'm not going to argue. there's always the 'X' button on top.

the unpredictable cycle called life

this news hit a little close to home, Innalillah.
this sad event was turned into a mini paparazzi affair when we were watching the malay news last night.
some members of the extended family turned into mini stars when the sis, the father and me excitedly identified them :D
anyway, lets just recite Al Fateha to everyone we know who has 'left' us.
Amin

that's me

Q : what happens when miscommunication meets misunderstanding and me?
A : a totally screwed up plan with me getting screwed
it's like a nightmare while you're awake. you want to wake up but you are already awake. i was afraid something like this might happen and it finally did.
and another note, please don't just presume that you know that i got offended by something said. i do get upset with certain words directed to me, but i do not get offended. getting offended just takes up too much energy. i'd rather spend the energy somewhere else.

screwed (almost)

exams coming in exactly one month's time and i haven't start any revision yet!
i'm so screwed...

when??!!

next time i want to go on vacation, i'll do the planning.
no more joining somebody else, especially that particular somebody.
what a weekend. i'll be right under the coconut shell if anybody is looking for me......

update of previous post

i have decided not to follow through to lodge a report, although i have not forgiven the person who did it. that person will still have to face the music though. what the people above have planned is up to them to decide. i still have the messages he sent so that can be used to punish him.
right now, the person's is on MC since the day after the incidence. in a couple of days time he will have to be sent to DB for 2 weeks. that will be 2 weeks of relief. for crying out loud, i'm working in a place which is suppose to be safe. to get in there are 2 levels of security to go through. and isn't working is a police base suppose to be safe? if not, i really don't know where else is. sheesh...
i'm supportive of the yellow ribbon project, but if a person who needs to be supported doesn't change their attitude, no projects be it yellow or brown or whatever colour will ever work.

deja vu

one wednesday, 3 weeks ago, i was opening my coin/key pouch, where i keep my daily expenses money nicely folded up, to pay for lunch and discovered my last $4 was missing. to make things worse, the spare $10 i normally keep for emergencies like this was also missing.
i reported this to my programme & project managers but decided not to make too big an issue of this.
then yesterday lunchtime, the same thing happened again. this time i got so agitated cos i just withdrew my money in the morning. luckily it was at the canteen so now i still owe the stall auntie $2 for the meal.
this time, i made a very big hoo haa over the matter and threatened to make a police report. we had our suspect and upon his arrival back to the office, an urgent meeting was held. one of the senior officers made a check of the guys belongings and found nothing.
so, after work, when i was on the bus, the guy called and sms-ed. he admitted that is was in fact him who was the culprit. he begged for forgiveness and promised not to do it again. he was actually just released from prison a month ago for stealing. next week he will be sent to DB for another 2 weeks.
the question is, should i forgive him? as a first-born, i have been programmed to forgive. i can be very stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i am a softie if it involves human beings, especially if it affects their lives.
i strongly believe in karma. the effect of retribution. i will feel a certain level of guilt.
for instance, when i was hospitalised 10 yrs ago, one old lady was making a lot of noise that it made me unable to sleep. so i called a nurse and before i knew it, the old lady was wheeled out of the room and was made to sleep outside the door, to my horror! oh my, the guilt i felt made me shut up the following night and tolerated her rantings the remaining days i was warded.
do drop me a comment or mail or any form of communication. it would be very much appreciated (,")

still hanging around

hello!!! i've been gone too long from here. i actually missed writing.

last week, this :

was on. this was what i really needed to perk me up. so, yours truly went ahead and lined up for that free cone. within an hour, i found myself in the line again and got myself another cone.

these were what i got :

(Chunky Monkey)(Sweet Cream & Cookies)

the sister called me a cheapskate, but hey, why should i refuse if i'm offered something. rezki jangan ditolak.

i'm also happy today. i remembered that the fee for one of my credit card is due this month. made a call to the card centre and got the fee waived.

anyone of you who has credit cards, take note. as long as you pay your bills on time, the bank will happily waive the fee upon request. just ask for it. i got this info from an ex-colleague who has friends working in a bank and from some newspaper report sometime back.

a quarter of 2007 is almost over. time really flies so fast. where did the last 10 years go? i feel like i'm still lost somewhere out there. heheh...

the next thing is, i've fallen in lurve. so hard and i'm almost obsessing about it.

i'm in lurve with this:

since my digicam's gone bonkers, i think this is a good substitute for the time being. maybe end of the year i'll get a digital SLR camera if the budget permits.

salary revision

so the hoo haa of the raise in civil service paycheck. i still don't know how much i'm getting.
anyway, it won't make much difference. what the ministers will be getting in a month is what i earn in a year, maybe less.
whatever...

coughing

i'm sick of being sick. i'd rather have been down and out then bounce back to health. i dislike getting coughs.
actually, i like my voice right now, but can i have it without the cough? pleaseeee.......
ok, it's the meds getting in my head now. weekend's coming. chill & i'm out...

sickeningly sick

it's that time when the weather gets to you. right now, i sound like somebody who got lost from Changi Village (if you know what i mean)...LOL
didn't totally lost the voice this time. usually i'd really be at volume 0 for a couple of days.
anyway, i got another day off with the MC and managed to get some work done. that's a huge load off my chest (except for the phlegmy cough i have).
so have a good week ahead. the week will begin tomorrow for me :)

to all women out there

today's International Women's Day. how nice is it to have a day dedicated for women.
to all women, be it babies, girls, students, mothers, career women, career mothers, etc...
i'm happy to be one )

tired

what a nice weather it is to not be at work. but what to do, i've got loads of bills and whatever nots to keep up with.
last monday was really not my day. everything either went wrong or didn't turn out as planned. after asking for the opinion of several people, including the mother's, i was assured that i DID NOT say the wrong thing.
sorry for you to have felt that way, but i'm not sorry for saying what i said.
anyway, this kind of day is best spent doing something to warm you up :
hot chocolate - checked
jacket - checked
soothing music - checked
ok, time for a reality check. i'm at work now. back to work for me......

not my day

how absent minded can i get?
i knew i had to be somewhere else, only to be reminded of it at 5pm.
5pm??!! the day's almost over!
i can be such an idiot...sheesh...

my life

why do i suddenly have the feeling that i'm very disconnected from everyone?

i don't know what's happening to the outside world. it's like i'm living in a world of my own.

(i'm not joking about being in my own world)

i find that my priorities and mindset are totally different. i'm the last one to hear any news which by then would be old news already. i feel lonely even when i'm with people i know. everyone else will be talking about things that i'm clueless about.

it's very depressing ok. even for an anti-social like me...

happiness is infectious

it's friday!! being with those who are happy sure is infectious.
can't wait for the day to end so the weekend can start.
see u guys later *winks* *winks*