i have a new object of desire now. i know what i want to get for my birthday. it's in 3 months time so i have enough time to save up for it.
yes, i get my own presents. it's better to get your own since you know exactly what you want. besides, this is too expensive to accept from others.
anyway, COMEX starts today. i'm so there to go drooling and desiring for more gadgets.
anybody wanna join me?
can i just live my life as i like it? must i really conform to what has been set at the norm?
i can see the look in their eyes and faces whenever the inevitable question is thrown in my face. must you really give that expression? it's getting very annoying ok.
i take life as it comes. i do believe that what is meant to happen will happen; sometimes by chance, sometimes by a bit of work.
whatever it is, please let me lead my life as i deem it best for me. i'm very tired of getting disappointed time and time again. (i think i've been reading too much that i get carried away and expect the same things in real life *LOL*)
i really don't mind missing out on something if it means i don't have to compromise. this is something not worth compromising on just because. i'll accept only if it's really worth it.
ok, i couldn't wait till the paperback was out. just had to know what happened.
an unexpected character was killed off. i was shocked and not to mentioned horrified about that.
didn't quite like the last chapter (the epilogue).
the writing was a little rushed at the end. the writer didn't really tie up the loose ends. still a few settings not explained. it could have been written a little better, but that's just my opinion.
the last harry potter book's out.
the spoiler i searched for turned out to be wrong.
still kinda sad to see who died, but not as sad as before.
Alhamdulillah, i made it through the exams. now one more module left and, as i mentioned in the previous post, it doesn't look simple at all.
i finished reading Harry Potter 1 - 6. i was feeling so curious as who JKR wanted to kill off in the final book and decided to google up any websites that can reveal the spoilers.
found a few that revealed the secret. oh imagine the shock and sad feeling i felt when i read who they were. *sniff* *sniff*
ok, i won't spoil it for you. but one advice if you want to read the book, be prepared with the tissue/hankies.
i've finished reading 5 of the Harry Potter books. just 1 left before the 7th and final book is released. after i'm done with the 6th book, i'll wait a few months for the 7th book to be released in paperback before i buy it; since all the 6 books i bought are paperback version.
anyway, after this i don't think i'll be doing any recreational reading. for the next 4 months at least. checking the assignment for this semester almost made me fall off my chair. the module is going to kill me. there are sooooo many things to do just for the assignment. even the open book exam doesn't sound like such a good thing either. open book exams are just to fool you into a sense of security. the questions are not that 'open' at all. sheesh...
right now, i'm trying to avoid a cousin. she was so keen to introduce a guy to me. i have no idea how to tell her i'm not interested. can you please go and irritate another cousin. i'm very busy and, as i've already mentioned, i don't have the time to invest in this. my free time is for myself. can i be selfish just for this instance?
i have other reasons, but let me just keep them to myself. i can't tell anyone about it. what i can say is the heart works in it's own way. i can't stop it, but i can suppress it and not let anyone know. it's something i cannot share to anyone.
i finally got the mood to write now. a long entry to make up for the long silence.
semester 1 exams are finally over and the results will be released tomorrow. i think i've made it with 1 of the module, still not sure what the outcome of the other module will be. i'm praying hard that i pass. then 1 more module to be taken in semester 2 and i'll be done. i've pushed myself as far as i can go with furthering my studies. i'm so looking forward to doing some recreational courses that doesn't require exams. i've had enough exams to last me the rest of my life, thank you very much.
i tried to request for an additional exemption but the request was turned down. i was a little disappointed but was prepared to receive that answer. 4 more months to go before the final exams (for me).
a few weeks ago, 1st July to be exact, i made the decision to change my lifestyle, and it's already been 10 years already, Alhamdulillah. that was the day i decided to put on the tudung. i spent a long time to think about it. it's not just a piece of additional cloth you put on. it's something very spitual and takes a load of courage. you have to be very prepared to do it.
i've been doing something i've missed doing for a very long time. i've been doing some reading. reading non-engineering books to be exact. i finally caught the Harry Potter fever. i've been wanting to read the books for a very long time but didn't really bother to get the books. after the last exams, i was in need for some treat and found myself in a bookstore one lunchtime. a 20% discount plus additional 5% if you pay by DBS credit card was too good to resist. i stacked up books 1-6 on the spot. i'll wait a while to get to the 7th book. maybe when the crowd dies down, and when the paperback adult edition is out.
a colleague passed some e-books but i couldn't read them cos i can't install them in my PDA. i've installed an e-book reader in it but seems like the reader doesn't recognise the file and the software just wouldn't upload the e-books into the reader.
i've always loved to read. i prefer to curl up in a corner and bury myself in a story. i actually find pleasure to read and imagine the story the characters are going through although movies has been made based on some books, nothing beats the creativity of the mind. the lure of a storybook never fail to bring me so engrossed that i can ignore everything else. i even became a librarian in school just to get my hands on any latest books. direct me to a library or bookstore and you can say goodbye to me till it closes. my hangout when in poly was the library. if i'm not doing assignments, i'll be looking for books to read. i love the company of books than people. at least if a book is not interesting, you can just put them away and forget about it.
there is one classmate of mine who really gets on my nerves. she's smart, but so annoying and irritating. she's the only person who has got on my nerves to the point of making me turn off my mobile phone just to avoid receiving her calls. it takes a lot, and i mean a whole LOT, to get on my nerves.
i thought that by getting married and moving to another continent i'll get some peace from the constant calls i used to get when we were rushing for time to complete assignments.
anyway, what makes me super irritated and annoyed with her right now is the exams. i do feel a little sorry for her now as she doesn't have any support for the course since she's moved away from SG. i do try to help out whenever i am able to. we are taking the same exam paper which was just over last Monday. since the time difference is to her advantage, she wanted me to inform her what are the questions that appeared in the paper.
isn't that unfair? everyone else didn't know what the questions will be and she was just waiting for me to inform her the questions - the exact questions. i told her it wouldn't be fair if i tell her the exact questions, but i can tell her to concentrate on which questions from the sample exam paper.
well, miss annoying here accused me of deceiving her. i got very pissed by that comment. i told her straight i did promise to help, but by giving out the questions i won't be doing justice to myself as well the others who took the exam without knowing the questions in the paper. i can help by giving a guide of what questions and topics she needs to remember to clear the paper.
there's a limit of how much you can help others. if it's within my means, i will definitely help others. i offer my services with no strings attached. i don't expect get any returns but if it involves a question of ethics and conscience, i have my reservations.
so i've got another paper to take next week. i'm requesting to get another credit thus another exemption for one module. if that is successful, then I'M DONE. FINISHED. COMPLETED.
let's hope and pray for the best.
is there any way anybody can survive without sleep? i have so much to do and not much time left to do everything.
i've been trying all sort of ways to keep awake trying to study. i can't afford to flunk anymore. i've invested too much time and i'm getting very tired of doing it now. i have to finish up the course. i need to do something else before i go insane.
if i were to go for a total health check-up, i'm sure i'll fail. the stress hormones must be having a party in my body. i've been craving for all the comfort food. i actually asked for something i've not eaten in a long time yesterday. something i've not seen in the freezer at home for ages. haha...
ok, i'd better go before my head get more screwed up from the lack of sleep.
i don't know why but i seem to be on an 'off' mode for the past few weeks.
i was so looking forward for something only to have written the event on a wrong date on my PDA. then yesterday, i was looking at a date for a scheduled meeting and got the date mixed up again.
i feel very detached too lately. like i'm living in my own world and i'm looking at everyone else through an invisible glass.
on another note, the programme manager seems to be in a very good mood. since he came back from an overseas working trip last week. first, he gave me a wink, an actual wink (where you blink an eye at a person) when i was giving him an update of some things about work. then just now, he bought 2 booklets of a carnival ticket and gave them to me telling me to enjoy myself.
only one thing i can say is, that man is really unpredictable. just last year when i was asking for a loooong leave he almost gave a lecture.
anyway, tomorrow's a public holiday. greetings to those who celebrate Vesak Day and enjoy the off day to the rest.
ps : PC show starts tomorrow (31/05/07) till sunday (03/06/07).
i don't know if it's just me, or it's just the way life is turning into when you get older, or it's just the way people still thinks.
a few months ago, an aunt sms-ed and asked if i would be interested if she introduces me to a guy. that's not the issue. the issue is, he's a widower with 2 children. i don't have time to take proper care of myself, let alone another person, and she's suggesting an additional baggage??!!
then, yesterday, a cousin called. she was asking if i'd be interested in this guy she knows. one of the information she gave, he's a divorcee.
while i have absolutely nothing against those who's ever been married. you have your reasons, i'd rather stay away. far, far, away. i may be single but NOT desperate ok. there's still plenty of single guys around. i personally know of a few.
anyway, i'm still quite happy the way i am right now. with my current situation, i don't have the time to maintain any relationships other than the ones i have right now. (read : the family friends/colleagues).
i really don't have the time and energy to start getting to know a new person. actually, this is the reason why i don't date. i have a strict no dating policy because i hate the ritual. you feel so awkward and insecure. talk too much you sound like you are bragging. talk too little and you sound like you're not interested.
another thing is i don't like going out cos i'm only free on the weekends and that's when everyone else is free too so it's so crowded everywhere. then the phone conversations. something i avoid and make it really quick if unavoidable.
anyway, this is just me. disagree if you think it's nonsense, but i'm not going to argue. there's always the 'X' button on top.
this news hit a little close to home, Innalillah.
this sad event was turned into a mini paparazzi affair when we were watching the malay news last night.
some members of the extended family turned into mini stars when the sis, the father and me excitedly identified them :D
anyway, lets just recite Al Fateha to everyone we know who has 'left' us.
Amin
Q : what happens when miscommunication meets misunderstanding and me?
A : a totally screwed up plan with me getting screwed
it's like a nightmare while you're awake. you want to wake up but you are already awake. i was afraid something like this might happen and it finally did.
and another note, please don't just presume that you know that i got offended by something said. i do get upset with certain words directed to me, but i do not get offended. getting offended just takes up too much energy. i'd rather spend the energy somewhere else.
exams coming in exactly one month's time and i haven't start any revision yet!
i'm so screwed...
next time i want to go on vacation, i'll do the planning.
no more joining somebody else, especially that particular somebody.
what a weekend. i'll be right under the coconut shell if anybody is looking for me......
i have decided not to follow through to lodge a report, although i have not forgiven the person who did it. that person will still have to face the music though. what the people above have planned is up to them to decide. i still have the messages he sent so that can be used to punish him.
right now, the person's is on MC since the day after the incidence. in a couple of days time he will have to be sent to DB for 2 weeks. that will be 2 weeks of relief. for crying out loud, i'm working in a place which is suppose to be safe. to get in there are 2 levels of security to go through. and isn't working is a police base suppose to be safe? if not, i really don't know where else is. sheesh...
i'm supportive of the yellow ribbon project, but if a person who needs to be supported doesn't change their attitude, no projects be it yellow or brown or whatever colour will ever work.
one wednesday, 3 weeks ago, i was opening my coin/key pouch, where i keep my daily expenses money nicely folded up, to pay for lunch and discovered my last $4 was missing. to make things worse, the spare $10 i normally keep for emergencies like this was also missing.
i reported this to my programme & project managers but decided not to make too big an issue of this.
then yesterday lunchtime, the same thing happened again. this time i got so agitated cos i just withdrew my money in the morning. luckily it was at the canteen so now i still owe the stall auntie $2 for the meal.
this time, i made a very big hoo haa over the matter and threatened to make a police report. we had our suspect and upon his arrival back to the office, an urgent meeting was held. one of the senior officers made a check of the guys belongings and found nothing.
so, after work, when i was on the bus, the guy called and sms-ed. he admitted that is was in fact him who was the culprit. he begged for forgiveness and promised not to do it again. he was actually just released from prison a month ago for stealing. next week he will be sent to DB for another 2 weeks.
the question is, should i forgive him? as a first-born, i have been programmed to forgive. i can be very stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i am a softie if it involves human beings, especially if it affects their lives.
i strongly believe in karma. the effect of retribution. i will feel a certain level of guilt.
for instance, when i was hospitalised 10 yrs ago, one old lady was making a lot of noise that it made me unable to sleep. so i called a nurse and before i knew it, the old lady was wheeled out of the room and was made to sleep outside the door, to my horror! oh my, the guilt i felt made me shut up the following night and tolerated her rantings the remaining days i was warded.
do drop me a comment or mail or any form of communication. it would be very much appreciated (,")
hello!!! i've been gone too long from here. i actually missed writing.
(Chunky Monkey)
(Sweet Cream & Cookies)
so the hoo haa of the raise in civil service paycheck. i still don't know how much i'm getting.
anyway, it won't make much difference. what the ministers will be getting in a month is what i earn in a year, maybe less.
whatever...
