what price sacrifice?

got my latest exam results. sad to say it was definitely not what i expected at all. it was not an easy paper to begin with, but i had a little bit of confidence to at least clear the paper. what greeted me was a BIG disappointment. it was an open book exam for crying out loud. i'm really disappointed in myself now. really did not expect anyting like this to happen.
not having time to understand the subect was one of the reasons. i'm not trying to give an excuse here but it's a fact. just last week i was feeling very happy to have sacrificed a little bit of my time to help someone out. now the table has turned on me. been wondering what was in my head when i enrolled in an engineering degree long distance programme. being a full time engineering student in poly was tough enough. taking it part time is really draining. work is already stressful with a reporting officer who gives mixed signals. gives u trust one minute, then takes it back the next. really couldn't spare whatever time i have left for anyone else (except for emergencies). sacrificing my own studies to help another's studies is not aa good idea. it is a noble thing to do to help others, but when it affects your life then i have to say be selfish.
i'm feeling down now. feel so de-motivated to study. the only thing that is keeping me going is the thought of paying the study loan. somebody help me here!!!! i need some help studying.
another thing i really don't understand is why some of the guys in my class keep asking me for help. i'm not a genius. i need help myself. who am i going to ask? it's no use asking for help from the local lecturers. they won't be able to help you like the full time lecturers/professors in the university. going to study again now. will also pray hard to seek strength to be able to make it. Insya Allah.