why??

back to work today. on leave on wednesday and on mc yesterday. cancelled plans to go KL this weekend. don't have the mood to enjoy. still in shock and denial.
only thing in my mind now is the question 'WHY???'. the 'what ifs' scenarios are playing in my head these past few days. how could someone so gentle, so sweet think of such a thing. and to actually execute it is unthinkable.
i never expect such an ending to this. now we will never know exactly why. the question can only be answered by someone not here anymore...