Eid Mubarak

i know i'm a day late in the wish, but i still would like to wish all muslim brothers and sisters Eid Mubarak.
this year, the month of Syawal comes without the usual urgency. i put up the curtains only last night. there's no thorough spring cleaning. the most i did was gave the whole house a run over with a damp mop. didn't even use floor cleaner. the windows didn't get cleaned. the cookies/tarts the neighbour gave is still not in the container for Hari Raya. i don't have anything new to wear for the first day.
this year, for the first time in my life, i actually greeted the 1st of Syawal alone (father was sleeping when i woke up). woke up to shower then met the neighbours to perform Solat 'Aidilfitri.
i don't know how to describe how i feel. it's worse than the time i had to spend the eve and morning of Hari Raya in the hospital. at least mother came on the eve and father picked me up in the morning. to get away from reality, i went to Geylang bazaar at 1 am in the morning of 1st Syawal. got home abt 3 plus.
ok, did i manage to sound pathetic? before i get more pathetic, i'll be off now. it's about 4.30 now. have an online paper to take in half an hours time.